SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS | MY STORY X PREVENTING IT.

April is the month set aside for sexual assault awareness. I have looked forward to writing this post from the beginning of the year when I had the idea to write about SA but I have created this draft and found myself double guessing if I should really publish this or not? If this is going to be TMI (Too Much Information)? If this is going to be opening up healed wounds? If people will now look at me differently? If this is the right thing to do?

Sexual assault is an act in which a person sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. It takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. SA swings both ways towards both sexes but it is more prevalent amongst the females. Statistics show that “One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old”, just imagine.

MY STORY.

I was a young, naive and smart girl child. I remember my mum giving me instructions about my body parts while bathing me, she said and I quote: “Don’t allow anyone touch your private part, it is yours; that is why it is private”. I went about living life to the fullest as a young child but that stuck somewhere in my brain. My parents shielded me from a lot of things as I didn’t understand why I couldn’t play with the child next door except they come to our home, why I couldn’t play outside of our fenced home, why I couldn’t be playing on the street, why I couldn’t watch the TV by myself, why I couldn’t spend the night at a friends house and a whole lot.

Fast forward to age 8 or so in primary school (elementary school), I found my self in a relatives house for the summer break and I was so much excited, I mean freedom at last; a new environment and someone extra/new to play with. On this fateful day, my relative left I and their child in the care of a supposed adult while they went about their business. Let’s call this supposed adult Uncle X. Uncle X kept playing with us and we were having fun up until he laid down with is private part erect and he told me to touch it, I didn’t know what that was so I touched and kept moving up and down with my hands until I remembered what my mum used to say “Don’t allow anyone touch your private part, it is yours, that is why it is private”, I then figured this should go both ways then I stopped. Uncle X asked me why I stopped, I told him I was going to report to my relative when they come back, he threatened me and said all sorts like: I will deal with you, you will die etc if you tell anyone. I then held on to my relatives baby and told her not to go close to him.

In all this incident, I didn’t know what this was but I knew it wasn’t right, I couldn’t tell my relative and Uncle X didn’t try it again till I left neither did I tell my mum when I got home from the break but Uncle X took my innocence that day. School resumed and I was taught sex education, it then registered to me what exactly he did and how I miraculously escaped being raped.

Years later in secondary school (high school) I belonged to a clique of 9 girls and whilst having one of our numerous chat-chats, I realized 2 out of 9 of us had been sexually assaulted as a child. I later told my mum and was thankful for those words she told me way back that saved me from the mess which could have been something else entirely. I have also seen Uncle X twice or so and the images kept flashing in my head but I have found peace and I do wish him well and hope that karma doesn’t pay him back.

PREVENTION

Let me start with this if you belong to the school of thought that what the victim wore in an assault/rape case is what instigated the abuser to commit the act then…. How indecent could a little child dress for you to be attracted to him/her? Even though I don’t support indecent dressing, I 100% respect whichever way someone chooses to clothe themselves. Again whatever anyone wears shouldn’t instigate anyone to assault them.

1. Train your child right: Let’s face the root of the problem, be it male/female train them well.

2. Stay away from people making unnecessary sexual advances towards you, protect yourself.

3. Please don’t walk away from a suspected assault incident, please help, if you cant call the law enforcing authorities

4. Take self-defense classes if need be.

This incident made me an uptight teenager who saw the opposite sex as a potential threat and didn’t give room for anyone to make an innocent joke or jokes about my body. Growing up has made me heal, be a lot better and be more social but I still do not loosen my guards with the opposite sex except you are trusted.

We can stop or reduce to the barest minimum the incessant increase in assault cases if we do things right.

Thanks once again for stopping by, you are the real MVPs

Tutu geh 1

Which other way do you think we can prevent sexual assault? Do you think what a person wears can instigate sexual assault? And do you think sharing my story is right? Let me know in the comment section below?

Advertisements

Posted by

22 | NIGERIAN LIVING IN DIASPORA | SHARING BITS AND PIECES OF MY WORLD

10 thoughts on “SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS | MY STORY X PREVENTING IT.

  1. I’m glad you shared your story and were left unharmed. I’ve heard of many cases of sexual assault on the news and it breaks my heard. I agree with your tips that parents should train their children well especially about sex education, being aware of what is not right matters a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It sure matters. I guess I am part of the lucky few that was able to walk out of the situation physically intact. Thanks dear for stopping by the blog and dropping your thoughts on this post, I really appreciate it ❤️.

      Like

  2. Hi Funke, I am glad you shared your journey with us. A lot of parents fault at teaching their children about their sexuality which is why many do not even know they are being abused until it starts to ‘hurt’.

    Shout out to your mom for letting you understand this at an early age. A lot of children do not have such opportunities and sharing your story is brace. Aside that, a lot of people will learn from it, both parents and adults.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Big shout out to her. I just decided to write this post to speak up against this menace, reach out to anyone out there who has been assaulted and is feeling like there’s something wrong with them and they are alone.

      I sincerely hope I was able to pass my message across and create more awareness about this because it has to STOP.

      Thanks for stopping by the blog dear and dropping your thoughts on the post. I really appreciate it ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

    1. No it is not and I have since moved on. I just wanted to write so other victims don’t feel alone or start blaming themselves.

      Thanks for stopping by the blog dear. I really appreciate it and I hope you come by again.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Dupe,
      I wrote this post to share my experience, to let young girls know about sexual assault and how to prevent it if possible. Thank you for stopping by the blog and dropping your thoughts on the post. I really appreciate it and I hope you come by again.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I wouldn’t say you were “unharmed”. You were violated in that even though you weren’t penetrated, you were used for “X”s desires. I absolutely feel that people treat sexual assault as TMI when it happens to SO many people. I hate that we feel that way as victims, that you’ll hurt people by telling what happened to you and then once one finally gets the courage to speak, they are back handed with victim blaming or outright called a liar. Thank you for sharing and educating!

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you. Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.